It’s been a long road, and the road continues beyond here. Long story short on this long road – clinging is the root of all of it. I thought it was the food (and it is), I thought it was the depression (sure, it is), the alcohol (yeah, it is), the childhood the anger the exercise the place I live in, the place I don’t live in, the boredom, the too much to do, the lack of hobbies, the gardens, the memories, the other people, the ___. And it is! It is. But it’s the CLINGING.
Depression is an enactment of clinging. Anger – the same. Ruminating…fussing over other people’s behavior. Returning again and again and again to drinking or not drinking or grains or relationships or mini skirts or how much I can deadlift or how much I used to be able to deadlift.
Stop clinging to that dead thing. No more looking back over your shoulder as the dead city. There’s noting left there for you that is not simply idiotic clinging. You are not there anymore, you are not that person anymore, that thing is over, the words passed, the day gone, the night is gone too. You do not have to go through any of that again. You don’t even want to. So just let it go. It’s gone now. You are here now.
firstlapsobriety 